Tell me if this sounds familiar. Someone says, “I love your dress!” and before you even think about it, you hear yourself say, “Oh, this old thing? I got it on sale years ago.”
Or someone praises your work and you rush to point out what went wrong, who else helped, or how it really wasn’t a big deal. I used to do this constantly. Maybe you do too. So let’s talk about why, and about the simple, brave practice of just saying thank you.
Why We Brush Compliments Off
For a lot of us, accepting a compliment feels like bragging. We were taught to be humble, to not get “too big for our britches.” Somewhere along the way, staying humble turned into refusing to believe anything good about ourselves.
Sometimes we deflect because the compliment doesn’t match the story we tell ourselves. If you believe you’re not pretty, not talented or not enough, kind words feel like they must be a mistake.
What Happens When We Deflect
Here’s something I didn’t realize for a long time. When someone offers you a compliment, they’re giving you a small gift. When you push it away, it can feel to them like their gift was refused. Receiving it graciously is actually a kindness to them too.
How to Practice Receiving
- Say “thank you” and stop there. No explanation, no correction, no “but.”
- Take a breath. Let the words land before you rush to the next sentence.
- Add warmth if you want. “Thank you, that really made my day.”
- Write it down. Keep a page in your journal for kind words people say to you. Read it on the hard days.
- Practice on yourself. Look in the mirror and say one kind thing. Then don’t argue with it.
Affirmations for Receiving
- I am worthy of kind words.
- I can accept praise and still be humble.
- When someone sees good in me, I let myself believe them.
- I receive love as easily as I give it.
Let It Land
The next time someone says something kind to you, I want you to try something brave. Smile, say thank you, and let yourself believe it, even just a little.
And in case nobody has told you lately: you are doing better than you think, and you are so much more wonderful than you give yourself credit for. Now say thank you, friend.
Want a little more support along the way? My two journals, Nurturing Your Soul: A Guide to Practicing Self-Care and The Mindful Journey Journal, are available on Amazon.
