Can I tell you something? For a long time, February made me a little anxious. Not because of the cold, but because of all those hearts in the store windows quietly asking, so who loves you?
Whether you’re single, partnered or somewhere complicated in between, I know that feeling of keeping score. So this year I want to sit down with you, like we’re having tea at my kitchen table, and talk about a different kind of Valentine’s Day. One that starts with you.
Start With the Relationship You Have With Yourself
The longest relationship you will ever be in is the one with yourself. You wake up with her every morning. You hear every thought she has about you. If that relationship is harsh or neglected, no amount of roses from someone else can fully make up for it.
So before you think about anyone else this month, ask: How have I been treating myself lately?
Small Ways to Love Yourself This Week
- Buy yourself the flowers. Not as a consolation prize. Because you like flowers.
- Write yourself a note. Three things you appreciate about who you are, not what you’ve done.
- Cook something you love. Set the table. Light a candle. You are worth the effort.
- Keep a promise to yourself. The walk, the early night, the appointment you’ve been putting off.
- Turn down the comparison. If social media makes you feel less than, give yourself the day off from it.
If You’re Partnered
Loving yourself isn’t selfish when you’re in a relationship. It’s what lets you love someone else without needing them to fill every empty space. You show up as a whole person, not half of one waiting to be completed.
If You’re Single
You are not waiting for your life to start. You are living it right now, and it deserves to be celebrated. Being single is not a problem to solve. It’s a season with its own gifts, freedom, time and room to grow among them.
A Prompt for February
What would it look like to treat myself the way I treat the people I love most?
Write it down. Then pick one thing from your answer and do it this week. That’s the kind of love that lasts long after the chocolate is gone.
You deserve the same tenderness you pour into everyone else. Happy Valentine’s Day, friend. I hope you feel loved this week, starting with your own heart.
Want a little more support along the way? My two journals, Nurturing Your Soul: A Guide to Practicing Self-Care and The Mindful Journey Journal, are available on Amazon.
