I’ll be honest with you. There was a time when a free Saturday with no plans made me uneasy. I’d fill every hour with errands, calls, television, anything to avoid sitting in the quiet with just me.
I thought I hated being alone. What I really hated was feeling lonely. It took me a while to learn those aren’t the same thing, and learning it changed so much for me. I want to share what helped.
Alone Is a Situation. Lonely Is a Feeling.
You can be surrounded by people and feel completely lonely. And you can spend an entire day by yourself and feel full, peaceful and connected to your own life.
The difference, for me, has been learning to actually like my own company.
How I’m Learning to Enjoy Time Alone
Plan it like a date. Instead of letting alone time be what’s left over, I schedule it. A morning at a museum. Lunch at a café with a good book. A long walk somewhere beautiful.
Do things I’d normally wait to do with someone. The movie I wanted to see. The restaurant I was saving. Waiting for company can mean waiting forever.
Let the quiet be quiet. I’m practicing not reaching for my phone the moment there’s a pause. Some of my best ideas show up in those empty minutes.
Write. My journal is where I get to know myself. What I’m thinking, what I want, what’s bothering me. It’s hard to feel lonely when you’re having an honest conversation with yourself.
Why It Matters
When you’re comfortable being alone, you stop accepting company that isn’t good for you just to avoid the quiet. You choose people because you want them, not because you need someone, anyone, to fill the space.
That changes friendships. It changes relationships. It changes what you’re willing to put up with.
If Loneliness Is Heavy Right Now
If you’re feeling truly isolated, please reach out to someone, a friend, family member or counselor. Learning to enjoy solitude is a gift, but it isn’t a replacement for real connection when you need it.
And if you’re ready to try, start small. One hour, just you. See who you meet.
I hope you come to love your own company the way the people who love you already do. You’re good company, friend. Truly.
Want a little more support along the way? My two journals, Nurturing Your Soul: A Guide to Practicing Self-Care and The Mindful Journey Journal, are available on Amazon.
