When I was younger, I had a very clear picture of who I’d be by now. Where I’d live. What I’d be doing. What my life would look like from the outside.
Some of it came true. A lot of it didn’t. And for a while I carried a quiet grief about the space between the life I imagined and the one I was actually living. If you’re carrying that too, I want you to know you’re not alone.
Grieving the Life You Planned Is Real
We talk about grief when we lose people. We don’t talk as much about grieving a dream, a plan or a version of ourselves we were sure we’d become. But that loss is real, and it deserves to be acknowledged.
If you’re feeling it, you’re not being ungrateful. You’re being honest.
The Plan Was Made by a Younger You
Here’s something that helped me: the woman who made that plan didn’t know what I know now. She hadn’t lived through what I’ve lived through. She didn’t know what I’d come to value, or what I’d discover I was capable of.
It’s okay to update the plan. You’ve grown. Your dreams can grow too.
Look at What You Have Become
Instead of only measuring what didn’t happen, try writing about what did. The strength you built. The lessons you learned. The people you met. The parts of yourself you found along the way.
Often, the life we didn’t plan has given us things we never would have known to ask for.
Journal Prompts for Letting Go
- Who did I think I’d be by now?
- What part of that picture am I still holding on to?
- What would I gain if I let it go?
- Who am I becoming instead, and what do I love about her?
Make Room for Who You Are Now
Letting go of who you thought you’d be doesn’t mean giving up on dreams. It means opening your hands so new ones have room to land.
You are not behind. You are not a failure. You are exactly where your real life has brought you, and there is still so much ahead.
I’m proud of who you’re becoming, even if she looks different than you planned. Maybe especially then.
Want a little more support along the way? My two journals, Nurturing Your Soul: A Guide to Practicing Self-Care and The Mindful Journey Journal, are available on Amazon.
